Mah Jong on Saturday

At the local dance, whilst posing by the door

A lady begged: "would I come on the floor?"

Above the band, my voice was heard,

Quite suddenly it had occured to me:

I'm Bored!

I'm bored with everything I touch and see

I'm bored with exposes of LSD

[Beatle-like backward sounds]

I'm bored with Frank Sinatra's new LP

And so I roar shoo-be-do-be-do

I'm bored.

Drinking different coloured wines or beers

(Chug-a-lug-chug-a-lug)

Just quite frankly leaves me bored to tears for souvenirs

And quite apart from what one hears,

I've been like this for years and years

You see? Ennui.

I'm bored with Mother Nature or her son

I'm bored with everything that should be done

And so, I just poke out my big red tongue and [raspberry]

I'm bored.

I'm tired of art!
(Drawing bored)
Sex is a drag!
(In a boreding house, I daresay.)
Awk! Australians bore me!
(You mean the a-bore-iginals, don't you?)
I'm bored to death!
(Like mortar bored)

I am bored.

[Repeat many times, round-style]

This is boredom you can afford, from Cyril Bored.

I hate each Julie Andrews film they've made,

[snatch of music from The Sound of Music]

I'm just a nasty narrow-minded jade.

Don't think that I will smile at it,

I'm not a weak-willed hypocrite,

I'll say: I'm bored!

I'm bored with with-it men in spotty ties

Who hum (hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm) tiresome tunes like Eidelweiss

I'm bored, and when I hear it

In a trice, I shout, I'm bored!

The only thing that ever interests me...

Is ME! (Me! Meee! Me! Me!...)