The title of this blog is in German - roughly translated it says "holidays in pig shit". At least you will adopt the aroma after a weekend there. You will also learn about biogas and GMWs.
Getting there:
As Robert Louis Stephenson is once rumoured to have said "it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive" or was it Plato or Homer? Anyhow I caught the aeroplane from Manchester and flew to Hamburg.
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| This nice piece of French Canadian engineering is prepared at Manchester airport one fine Saturday morning quite early. |
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| We climbed swiftly over Manchester enroute to Hamburg. |
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Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way |
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| An Airfix kit of a breakfast served soon after take off and remaining impenetrable as we cross the Dutch coast. |
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| It's always good to exit an airport on Zeppelinstrasse. I'm heading for the pig shit smell generating capital of Europe, Cloppenberg to catch up with Mrs Nikos who is working there in her peripatetic fashion. |
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| Its Halloween and I by chance pass a Polo shop - these motorcycle clothes shops are the size of Harrods and I manage to buy a bluetooth wotsit for my Schubert musical helmet at a bargain price. Mrs Nikos' 6th sense engages and I receive a panic "where are you" siren call. Response "stopping for petrol dear". |
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| Mrs Nikos on the job. |
Now to the Farm.
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| Popular for family holidays, Mrs Nikos is staying here for a bit. |
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| Good concept for a holiday: Whilst the parents are scrutinsing the farm animals, |
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| the kids play with the biogas generating system X Box game |
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| Wherever she goes Mrs N attracts pussies. |
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| More pussies in the hay. |
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| Bentheim pigs. |
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| Geese in a flap |
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| And now for something completely different. The back garden of the farmhouse has been converted for shit to energy conversion. If you need more information click -----> HERE |
Herr Bauernhof kindly gave me a guided tour of the facilities. It would appear that the shit is collected from here:
is cleaned in here:
And then the Hochgeschwindigkeitsscheißeauszieherpumpe comes into play somehow thus:
Controlled by this gubbins:
resulting in the necessity to install 10GW worth of solar panels in order to make a nice cup of tea:
PS
In the pig shed I found the remnants of the Father of my mighty BMW R1150GS motorcycle.
I take it you had a pleasant toileting experience?
ReplyDeleteIt's no good, I can think of nothing more to say... not now that I have that Joni Mitchell track going round on my head.
Sx
I meant, in my head, but predictive text has other ideas.
ReplyDeleteSx
Working in this very industry (we make a shitload of money selling that technology by the way) I enjoyed your explanations very much. You have hit the nail, this is exactly how it works.
ReplyDeleteAnd Polo or Louis or Hein Gericke are awesome... kid in candy store comes to mind.
As a kid I had my share of holidays in the shit, but I didn't appreciate it as much as I work in it, with it and around it now. Actually I am getting paid for shitty work.
Nikos:
ReplyDeleteI am amazed that you managed to fill one of those large round buildings all by yourself.
bob
Riding the Wet Coast
Mrs. Nikos can operate three computer screens at once? She is talented. I have trouble using one little iPad.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. One could say it was the 'shit', or is that the bomb?
Nikos:
ReplyDeleteI'm always in the shit, it's just the depth that varies.
Oh to be able to attract pussy. Have always thought that meeting Jennie 40 years ago was as a result of divine intervention as opposed to any skill on my part.
Dear Ms Scarlet Blue
ReplyDeleteOn or in, up and down, but in the end its only round and round.
Dear Sonja
I hope that I didn't give too many secrets away but I had difficulty following my effusive guide - he looked slightly perplexed when I asked him what the pay back period on the initial investment was....
Dear Bob
ReplyDeleteIt's a constant source of amazement to me as to what amazes you!
Dear Trobairitz
Mrs Nikos has absolutely no idea how to use an iPad.
Dear Geoff
Believe me, if you are into Biogas you would be completely submerged in the stuff (der Stoff)especially if the Hochgeschwindigkeitsscheißeauszieherpumpe plays up!
Nikos,
ReplyDeleteHuh. Poo power. At least it's closer than Saudi Arabia.
Also, is this where all the German piggies are? We eat a lot of them, but never see them.
Brady
Behind Bars
Brady,
ReplyDeleteIf you can stand the smell visit the flatlands of the North and visit your dinner!
Dear Nikos:
ReplyDeletePlease forgive my absense of late. I was out removing my head from my ass and it took longer than usual.
I generally enjoy reading your blog, as it it usually represents a departure from the ordinary. But I must confess, today's episode was somewhat more so.
I'm sure you had a good reason for taking a vacation in a shit factory, but it has yet to surface in any of this narative. If you want to go to a real shit farm, I would suggest the US Capitol building. With an election year approaching, both parties are wagging their asses out the windows and tuning up for the podium.
I must confess that there is a real difference in the pussies that Mrs. Nikos attracts and the type I hope to attract with my K75.
Fondest regards,
Jack/Reep
Twisted Roads
Jack
ReplyDeleteIt's always an honour and pleasure for you to comment on my humble blog - I'm sure that you were attracted by my confection of
Hochgeschwindigkeitsscheißeauszieherpumpe
The pussies are neither here nor there, they appear to be everywhere, but I do wish they would not piss in the bed - a most unpleasant night was spent.
Best wishes as ever, N
hahahahahahahaha poor Nick ;O) Ipad?? whats that?? hihihhi
ReplyDeleteMrs Nikos
Yes, nice chassé from a Canadian plane to Joni Mitchell. Is Mrs Nikos an orthopedic surgeon or summat?
ReplyDeleteGadjo
ReplyDeleteείναι ακτινολόγος
Hi Niko,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog and just wanted to say it's really fun to read.
The correct german translation of your title would be "Urlaub in der Schweine Schei**e" :), which does not reflect the holidays on a farm you used. But no problem ..
If you again need a german title, let me know :)
Regards, Markus
Dear Urlaub auf den Bauernhof
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for making comment.
I looked at your impressive website and was tickled by:-
"Furthermore, all of the farmers have their own idiosyncrasies, pursuing one or other of their personal passions, from farmhouse gardens teeming with flowers and herbs, to small areas where flax is (once again) being grown, to fruit orchards where the quince is experiencing a renaissance. And it is precisely this which contributes so greatly to the charm and regional flavor of these farms. "
You did not mention a Biogas plant!
best wishes and see you soon, N