Wednesday, November 3, 2010

October at the NW Man Lab

There is nothing new about James May's Man Lab TV show - I have been acting this dream for what feels like a century with knowledge handed down by my Father and before him Michalis the gardener of my Grandfather in Πρίγκηπος .  In short, James May lacks that cutting edge that distinguishes a true Balkan Bodger from the boys:  but I don't benefit from the BBC licence fee.

First off, this is Jodrell bank, located at the Southern boundary of the NW Man Lab - I use it for micro waving IKEA meatballs at a range of 8 miles,

I needed to develop this sophisticated high pressure apparatus for removing the pistons from my GS front brake calipers - the cunning trick here is that the opposing pistons must be restrained by the use of the worn out brake pad and a piece of wood.

A pristine R100GS on display but not for sale at my local BMW Motorrad dealer photographed moments after I had spent £140 on 20 rubber O rings to overhaul my GS brake calipers - hence the slight camera shake.

One of my GS front brake calipers before overhaul: This is why its important to keep the brakes clean and not to rely on the servicing skills of an official BMW Motorrad workshop. Logically this should have appeared as the second image. Sorry.

NW Man Lab personnel on a a rest and resuscitation break on the River Rhine.  The air temperature is hovering around 32F.

These motorised barges plough up and down the Rhine between Basel and Rotterdam carrying essential spare parts for BMW motorcycles.

The flight deck of the Draco  at speed - I am at the controls of this opulent Volvo powered vessel previously owned by the third cousin twice removed of Aristotle Onassis' hit man and it featured in the pilot James Bond movie "From Stoke-on-Trent with Love".

We travel faster than a bouncing bomb through the spans of a reconstructed bridge.

For some reason the crypt of the Church at Oppenheim contains 20,000 human skulls and bones

The paint finish on the front forks of the GS shows signs of repeated attack by Greek goat shit so requires some attention.  Here is the application of Hammerite Special Metal primer that ensures that the top coat falls off within moments of application.

Back to the NW Man Lab kitchen where junior apprentice aka "dopey son" screws up the cooking of pasta.

Back to the front forks, having been painted with Hammerite smooth silver paint. N.B. image taken at 1/1000s to capture the moment just before it all fell off.

A truly splendid example of why the use of stainless steel fasteners in aluminium alloy is a very bad idea. Here I am drilling out the seized bolt on the left hand cylinder head that will need to be reconstructed with liquid metal filler and retapped.  Good luck to me.

Spanning the river Dane Twemlow near Holmes Chapel, the brick built viaduct is constructed of 23 arches each spanning 60 feet and 2,580, 191 bricks or so and stands at a height of 105 feet  and was completed in 1842.

Built in 1996, this fine BMW K75RT exhibits very little damage to either side as this picture clearly shows.
The next episode of NW Man Lab will include an update on the GS cylinder head catastrophe, new brake pads and lines and much much more of little general interest.

17 comments:

  1. 140 quid for some 'O' rings, one can only imagine what a metal part must cost lol...

    Congrats on completing your summer bike trip, will there be a bike trip every summer now?

    Cheers,

    Dave...

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  2. I remember 'From Stoke on Trent with Love' - it featured that epic tango filmed on the main floor of The Place in Hanley. The one where Bond slipped on a cast-off chip butty and, moving effortlssly into a three-legged entrechat scored straight 10s from the judges.

    Or was that Sunday Night Virus?

    (LOVE the R100GS!)

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  3. Dave, yes I do imagine what a metal part costs and buy them on ebay! we are planning a trip to the historic ruins of Bulgaria next summer - will you be home?

    Affer, Ah, you must be the Jonathan Woss of S-o-T with that encyclopedic film memory of yours. The V2000 cassette is on the way to you.

    N

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  4. 'ello from the Colonies Nikos!

    I first heard about the James May programme on the radio just this morning and such was my surprise that it could well have been All Fool's Day!

    Surely things have not slipped so badly in the UK since I left in '75 that modern spotty yoof can't even do the basic "guy stuff" any more?

    Laying concrete and whipping up a basic 4 bedroom home are practical citizenship tests for NZ, even for women ;-)

    As ever...

    Geoff

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  5. Geoff,
    In my youth I was making bombs, not defusing them! My wife wants to come to NZ, she has already built a house in Greece, does she qualify?
    Take care, N

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  6. Dear Nikos:

    BMW care must lose something in translation from the Rubber Chicken Racing Garage (Yardly, Pa) by the time it arrives in Stoke-On-Trent. The most useful tool I have for brake repair is a MasterCard.

    I must say I laughed like hell reading this blog episode. And later on during the day, I thought of it again and nearly got hit by a lorry.

    It's nice to see that your K75RT is getting the treatment it deserves, although I am suspicious of pictures of the right side mirror taken by satellite.

    I have to take a 125-mile run tomorrow to qualify for membership in my local group. It is the first time I will have ridden in a month. Hotels along the route have ben notified. It is my intention to make this run in under 4 days.

    Fondest regards,
    Jack • reep • Toad
    Twisted Roads

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  7. Hi Nikos,

    Yes we'll be here next year, still house bashing most probably, pop in for a cuppa, we're on a main road,easy to find!!

    Cheers,

    Dave...

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  8. Blimey, are the brakes on BMW choppers really that dodgy?? I thought that the only advantage of having a bike that's as wide and as heavy and as expensive as a small family car was the fact that they are at least reliable!

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  9. The boss on that cylinder head needs to be rebuilt with some welding.

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  10. Love the completely random display of images and text - do you have that software programme 'photojumble2' ?

    Excellent photos though.
    El D

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  11. 140 quid for an overhaul kit! Much better to use an old inner tube and some Bostik, or better still use the boat on the road - no brakes to corrode. Sorted.
    Thanks for the Hammerite tip. I too will soon be doing a Leonardo da Vinprio on a 'sickle frame.

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  12. Jack,
    I am concerned that my Bloggers indemnity insurance (coverage 19 Greek Drachmas), may not cover you for getting hit by a lorry. I'm truly sorry about this but many thanks for your kind comments.
    Gadjo,
    No reliability problems whatsoever - just the inability to stop on a lepta.
    Alice,
    As I'm not currently qualified to weld, braise or fly an A380 I shall be effecting a Balkan Bodge with Plastic Padding
    El D,
    Thanks and how is life in Surrey?
    Bikerted,
    Don't breathe in to much cellulose thinners vapour - I've been a bit off colour recently and suspect that I should not have used that cheapo stuff from Halfords.

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  13. Dear Nikos:

    I felt in need of a laugh today, so I reread this blog. Do you know how dopey you have to be to screw up pasta?

    Fondest regards,
    Jack • reep • Toad
    Twisted Roads

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  14. Jack
    I have a fair idea - that's why I go to the local Chinese restaurant most nights.
    Best wishes from frigid England, N

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  15. "Do you know how dopey you have to be to screw up pasta?"
    The ways I see it, boy, is dopey is a dopey does, an I reckon about three or four spliffs or one bong should do it.

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  16. Well Mr Kincaid, that is quite disgraceful - not to mention illiterate. Drug use is NOT to be encouraged, and I hope Mr Nikos will strike your remarks out.

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  17. I used to pass that viaduct twice a day - once on the way to college and once on the way home again. Except for the days I went out on the town and didn't go home for several days...

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