Welcome to Waterford

The 4 crew, 27 passengers and 2 dogs on board the Manchester flight are welcomed to Waterford this afternoon by Santa: This never happened when I used to fly from Luton!

You had better look out

...inflatable Santa is coming to town.
Actually not quite a "steal" as previously stated (thank you H'lass for picking me up on that one - the charming WPC who interviewed me today was quite understanding thank you so much).

Where have all the good singers gone?

The Great Christmas Throw Up

A steal at Focus (Chester branch) and a very merry Christmas to you all!

E- Pidge - What the blazes is that?

e mail received today at Cosmos Towers South:

Preamble:

Welcome to our festive edition of e-Pidge, which brings you updates from across the University, news about Oxford's alumni events and activities, and information on the latest benefits available to alumni

Middle Bit:

A new discount in time for Christmas, Dick Pyle (New, 1962) is offering Alumni Card-holders the opportunity to adopt a truffle tree, and consequently own all the truffles it produces, for only £99 (usually £149). The ideal gift for any foodie!


Comment:

That solves my habitual Christmas present buying dilemna then - anyone important in my life will receive an electronic picture frame.

Meet my Airhead

She is lean and boasts simplicity of form - she has Bing carburettors and a fuel tap with an "R" position. On our first serious encounter it takes 3 hours to prise the seat open to access the flat battery...

Cobbler's to Nikos

I am very fortunate to have been given a pair of handmade shoes - this is my third visit to the cobbler and this stage appears to involve the meticulous process of moulding acetate to the shape of my funny feet. I'm not entirely certain how this leads to a nice pair of leather brogues...

Spot the Odd Fin Out

Answers please on a post card. The prize will be the exclusive collection of Nikos' Historic aviation sick bags. The judge's decision will be final and only some correspondence will be entered into. Former emplyees of Dan-Air are not elligible to enter.

How many Forums Must a Man Join Up To

...before they call him a man?

The answer my friend is you find out when you have a birthday...

1. We at BMRider Forums would like to wish you a happy birthday today!
2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

AFRIKAANS gelukkigeverjaarsdag / ALBANAIS gëzuarditëlindjen / ALLEMAND AllesGute zum Geburtstag / ALSACIEN gléklickagebùrtstag/ ANGLAIS happy birthday / ARABE aidmilad said / ARMÉNIEN tsnoundeshnorhavor / AZERI ad gununuzmubarek / BAMBARA i nisan kura / BAS-SAXON efeliciteermit ju verjaardag/ BASQUE zorionak zuri / BENGALI subhojanmadin / BERBÈRE amulliameggaz / BIÉLORUSSE З днём нараджэння/ BIRMAN mwe nay mingalar pa / BOBO joyeuxanniversaire / BOSNIAQUE sretanrođendan / BRETON deizha bloaz laouen dit / BULGARE честитрожден ден / CATALAN feliçaniversari / CANTONAIS sangyut fai lok / CZECH Vše nejlepší k narozeninám /MANDARIN shengri kuai le / CORSE felice anniversariu / ANTILLAIS bon nanivèsè/ GUADELOUPÉEN jwaïeu anivewsèw / České VSE NEJLEPSÍ / CRÉOLEGUYANAISjwayé annivèrsè / CRÉOLEHAITIENjwayé zanivèsè / CRÉOLEMARTINIQUAIS bonaniversèr / CRÉOLEMAURICIENbonn anivairsaïr / CRÉOLERÉUNIONNAIS bon laniversèr / CROATE sretan rođendan / DANOIS tillykkemed fødselsdagen / ESPAGNOL felizcumpleaños / ESPÉRANTO felicxannaskigxtagon / ESTONIEN paljuõnne sünnipäevaks / FÉROÏEN tillukkuvið føðingardegnum / FINNOIS hyvääsyntymäpäivää / FLAMAND gefeliciteerdmet je verjaardag/ français bon anniversaire/ FRANCIQUE LORRAIN zùm Gebùrtsdah vill Glìck / FRISON lokwinskemei dyn jirdei/ FRIOULAN bon complean / GAÉLIQUED'ÉCOSSEco-latha breith sona dhuibh / GAÉLIQUE D'IRLANDE láBreithe shona dhuit / GALICIEN feliz cumpreanos / GALLOIS penblwydd hapus / GREC chroniapolla (ΧΡΟΝΙΑ ΠΟΛΛΑ) / GUARANÍ rogüerohorynde arambotýre / HAWAIIEN hau'olila hanau / HÉBREU yomhuledet sameakh / HINDI janamdinmubarak ho / HONGROIS boldogszületésnapot kívánok / INDONÉSIEN selamatulang tahun / ISLANDAIS tilhamingju með afmælið / ITALIAN buon compleanno / JAPONAIS o tanjôbiomedetô / KABYLE amulliameggaz / KHMER kblatchikan / KURDE rojbunate piroz be / OCCITAN joiósanniversari / LAO souksaan van kheud / LATIN felixdies natalis / LETTON apsveicudzimsanas dienā / LINGALA bontamaelamu / LITUANIEN su gimtadieniu/ su gimimo diena / LUXEMBOURGEOIS E schéineGebuertsdag / MACÉDONIEN srekenrodenden / MALAIS selamathari jadi / MALGACHE arahabainatratry ny tsingerinandro naterahanao / manaova tsingerinandro naterahana finaritra / MALTAIS xewqatsbieħ għal għeluq sninek / MAORI rawhanau koa / MONGOL tursunudriin bayar hurgeye (Tєрсєн єдрийн баяр хvргэе)/ MORÉ ne y taabo / NÉERLANDAIS gefeliciteerdmet je verjaardag/ NORVÉGIEN gratulerer med dagen / gratulerer med fødselsdagen / OCCITAN bon aniversari/ OURDOU saalgirah mubarik /OUZBEK tug'ilgan kuningiz muborak bo'lsin / PERSAN tavallodetmobârak / POLONAIS wszystkiegonajlepszego z okazji urodzin / PORTUGAIS felizaniversário / PROVENÇAL joiósanniversari / QUÉBÉCOIS bonne fête / ROMANI bjandimahko dives baxt / ROUMAIN la mulţi ani / RUSSE С днем рождения/ SAMOAN ia manuia le aso fanau / SARDE bonosannos / SERBE srecanrodjendan / SHONA bavudeirakanaka / SINDHI junamdhin joon wadhayoon / SINHALA subaupandinayak / SLOVAQUE veselénarodeniny / SLOVÈNE vse najboljše/ SOBOTA dobroletobra / SUÉDOIS grattispå födelsedagen / SUISSEALLEMANDVöu Glöck zom Gebortstag / SWAHILI kumbukumbunjema / TAGALOG maligayangkaarawan / TAHITIEN iaora te mahana fanaura'a / TAMOUL pirrannetha-nalevazhthigale / TATAR tugankonen belen / TCHÈQUE vsechnonejlepsi / veselé narozeniny / TELUGU puttiniroju subhakankshalu / THAI สุขสันต์วันเกิด (souksaanwankeud) / TURC DogumGününüz Kutlu Olsun / UDMURT vordiśkem nunalenyd / UKRAINIEN З днем народження(Z dnem narodzhennya) / VIETNAMIEN chúcmừng sinh nhật / WALLON djoyeusaniversaire / YIDDISH a freilekhngebortstog

DAN Europe
your dive safety association

3. We at PPRuNe Forums would like to wish you a happy birthday today!

4. We at BMW Boxer R Owners Club would like to wish you a happy birthday today!

5. We at ::. UKGS'er.com .:: would like to wish you a happy birthday today!

6. + 1 telephone call from a firm selling double glazing.

and thanks Adriana, Cara, Clarky, Highwaylass for the sms messages!

A Birthday Wish

To whom it may concern:

I would like a pair of locking pliers aka "mole grips" that are capable of removing broken stud bolts from the cylinder head of a BMW motorcycle*.

I know that I did wrong when I crossed threads and I do not have OCD like the person who set up this website.


*Nothing serious at this stage- just the attachment for the silly plastic head protector - expected to escalate into a complete engine rebuild knowing my luck.

Autumn Leaves

A trip to Vienna to become a Wiener Strudelbackerin leads to a pleasant afternoon ride on the Third Man film set ferris wheel.

Headstrong bikers ?

Quote from Kathimerini

Four in 10 motorcyclists in Greece do not wear a helmet, while one in three does not require their passengers to wear one either, according to the results of a survey by the Hellenic Motorcycle Federation (MOTOE). The figures published yesterday also indicate that half of Greek riders do not wear a helmet when the weather is warm.

Nikos says: Article fails to point out that of the 60% of Greek motorcyclists who do "wear" a helmet 80% of them sport it on the elbow?

Gioconda's Grimace

Otherwise known as a leisurely stroll through the streets of Athens.

High Flying Adored

After 5 minutes in the air I ask my pilot how long he has been flying - "12 years!" - Oh I thought, you must still have been wearing nappies when you went solo.

An Extraordinarily Large Overdraft is Born

At the flourish of a Visa card the average age of my bike fleet has been halved (almost).

***NEWS FLASH***SPOT THE LOONY***

As well as a helmet and parachute, he will wear a special suit to protect him from the four kerosene-burning turbines mounted just centimetres from him on the wing.

Graff von Zeppelin is Not Amused

I look inside the Hindenburg and am amazed that it is the length of 3 Boeing 747s.

Spot the Beach Nut

The ships are on the river, the tideon the sea is out - I can see the groyne and I am confused.

Admission

I don't seem to have posted much to this blog....

try *** this one *** instead!

A Case of Fettling and a New Nose Job

The wobbly front fairing has gone and has been replaced with a simple MRA screen with natty spoiler that during proving trials at 1.5 miles per minute (erhem officer the speedo of my aunt appears to overread too much) at it's "up" setting directed a turbulent (and noisy) but low pressure air blast at my helmet and at it's low setting ensured my head was in clean but fast air: In other words pretty pointless. The replacement battery strap that Vines of Guildford failed to produce after 3 weeks but Williams of Manchester russled up with 12 hours notice (well done Claudine Customer Service Advisor) proved more of a challenge in key hole plier and spanner techniques.

Gear 4 1/2

Dreaming of Stuffed Tomatos

My kind of Guru

On the Third Day Nikos Drives the Bloody Thing

I fit the correct contact lenses today. I trust the tyres. I do not fear narrow wet roads and downhill hairpin bends of decreasing radius with man hole covers positioned at the correct entry point and stone walls. I drive the machine. The man with flip helmet seems pleased. We pass through the spectacular Elan valley and visit the Black Mountains.

Interlude for Little Notes on Scrappy Bits of Paper

Driving in Drizzle

Day 2 and we cannot even see the sheep. This is supposed to be the big day with the 200 mile ride on the A470 up to Betty's Co Ed or as the English say Betws -y- Coed for Welsh Rarebit in a grotty cafe with outside loos for the boys. Drizzle and fog diminish nothing from the virtual redolent charm of Blaenau Ffffffffestiniog and a steam train greets us at Porthmadog. We are battered by gale force wind through Harlech and arrive with soggy numb bums at Rhayader. I'm accused of riding like a car driver...I survive. At dinner I admit to mono vision contact lenses: The man with the flip front helmet literally flips his lid.

A Ride to Rhayader

85% sheep sitting down is favourable according to local knowledge - it's when they sit under the trees that the waterproof oversuit must be donned. I guide my steed gingerely around the car park at the BMW Rider Training facility at Ystradgynlais dodging cones: My self doubt ebbs and flows - an unfamiliar machine and a new travelling companion - an instructor chatting through my ear piece - I long for the first coffee stop.

The Grey Weather Forecaster

It cannot be a good omen for the weather prospects looking forward to my 3 day motorcycle tour of Wales when 50% of Today's Forecasters will not reveal themselves...

The Napier Deltic

My sadly departed Dad worked for Napier & Son at Acton just before they were absorbed into Rolls-Royce. Napiers were expert at packaging multiple banks of cylinders into compact designs especially for aero engines where low frontal area was needed to reduce drag (actually the cooling system causes more drag - there was a very good book written by LJK Setright on this topic - anyone know what it was called?). They were of course not very reliable but they produced a design called the Nomad that was a compound two stroke diesel and turbine engine - the most thermally efficient engine ever produced. The Deltic diesel is a good example of a design that was used in railway locomotives and patrol boats - my Dad spent a lot of time placating the Indian Navy as there Deltic powered PTBs spent most of their time being towed home.

Pandering to the Olympics

Not faking it, these pandas are clearly enjoying the coverage.

A Visit to the Cobbler

And it's now official - I'm size 14 (feet that is).

13.8V and the Top of the Morning to you All.

The new energiser functioned without fault. The ride was accomplished with the top box lid unlatched in best Ted Simon style. Congleton was traversed without drama. The descent from the Cat and Fiddle brought only one muppet moment fumbling for gears on one of the hair pins...(rolling on the throttle is futile in neutral - why is there a neutral between 2nd and 3rd?). Next run will be to Matlock Baths.

Saved by a 4X2

The prologue.

She's off already. Now listen - calm yourself dear, yes you in the curlers 3rd row back.
Without that block of 4X2 to hold it up....
Titter ye not....
I would'nt have been able to slip/shove it in.

Haynes Hint: Battery corrosion can be kept to a minimum by applying a layer of petroleum jelly to the terminals after the cables have been connected.

Thank Destructus (the God of DiY) that the Knutsford Boots was still open at 17:55.

Some People have all the problems...

Question for you single guys, or former single guys.

---

So what to do about properly dressing the ladies on the back of your bike?

I'm not Don Juan, but I've had a handful of opportunities to have a friend or date on the back, anywhere from around the block to a afternoon ride. Of course, none of them have their own gear, so it's up to me to provide the right equipment.

How can I have extra gear for someone I haven't yet met? Do you wait until you meet the right one and then buy her the gear? Do you choose which size you like, buy that gear, and date only women that size?

Do you buy large gear and tell the small girls just to cinch it up?

Jamie

There is just one life for each of us:

our own.

Blog 202

An apology to anyone who might stumble across this blog (especially this weekend's "contents" to which the later excuses apply) : I have a dose of writer's cramp, the bike is sick in the garage and certain other things are really getting me down at the moment, and therefore this blog has resorted to a form of word association tennis with Mornington Crescent Rules and played only by myself ("titter ye not") . The only trouble is I am unable to keep my balls in the court.
That is all.

Mah Jong on Saturday

At the local dance, whilst posing by the door

A lady begged: "would I come on the floor?"

Above the band, my voice was heard,

Quite suddenly it had occured to me:

I'm Bored!

I'm bored with everything I touch and see

I'm bored with exposes of LSD

[Beatle-like backward sounds]

I'm bored with Frank Sinatra's new LP

And so I roar shoo-be-do-be-do

I'm bored.

Drinking different coloured wines or beers

(Chug-a-lug-chug-a-lug)

Just quite frankly leaves me bored to tears for souvenirs

And quite apart from what one hears,

I've been like this for years and years

You see? Ennui.

I'm bored with Mother Nature or her son

I'm bored with everything that should be done

And so, I just poke out my big red tongue and [raspberry]

I'm bored.

I'm tired of art!
(Drawing bored)
Sex is a drag!
(In a boreding house, I daresay.)
Awk! Australians bore me!
(You mean the a-bore-iginals, don't you?)
I'm bored to death!
(Like mortar bored)

I am bored.

[Repeat many times, round-style]

This is boredom you can afford, from Cyril Bored.

I hate each Julie Andrews film they've made,

[snatch of music from The Sound of Music]

I'm just a nasty narrow-minded jade.

Don't think that I will smile at it,

I'm not a weak-willed hypocrite,

I'll say: I'm bored!

I'm bored with with-it men in spotty ties

Who hum (hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm) tiresome tunes like Eidelweiss

I'm bored, and when I hear it

In a trice, I shout, I'm bored!

The only thing that ever interests me...

Is ME! (Me! Meee! Me! Me!...)

I'm completely bored Nationally Insured

To add interest at meetings at work, we are now able to watch paint dry.

Space City

After a false start and a turnaround ordered by a pretty special constable near the RHS flower show at Tatton Hall, we drove down the M56 looking for helpful AA signage for the Balikonur Cosmodrome.
Eventually we parked in a neo Roman cistern under Central Station and ate pizza in St Peters square. I was a little disappointed at not being able to touch Yuri Gagarin's space suit.

Wednesday Wonderings

Assuming that you did not have a brain before you purchased one of these fellers then the warning is probably valid.

Tuesday Treat