Beginners Guide to Kink Instability

Looking back at the 45 years or so of my life spent living within 35 miles of London, I probably went there for touristic reasons approximately three times.  OK, I spent about 5 years commuting to and fro and my dear old Dad used to take me regularly to the Tottenham Court Road to buy his collection of crappy ex-military valve radios that I could not even give away 20 years later - this early symptom became a full blown handed down Nikos family syndrome of filling up garages with junk.  I remember passing by Pride and Clark in Stockwell (from where I bought my second motorcycle in 1976, a Yamaha RD200, RD standing for "Run Down").

Preamble over, get to the point Nikos.

Now (I do mean now) I live near Manchester and have decided to visit the place at least three times as a tourist - this is last Saturday's effort supported ably by Mrs Nikos.

This is the eclectic Beetham Tower, home of the Manchester Hilton - in the foreground the former Manchester Central station - now GMex conference centre.

This is China Town

Hazard awareness sign post  - a swinging tram

MOSI  - click here to find out more - A memorial telling us how Manchester used to be the seat of Engineering and scientific excellence.

A replica of Robert Stephenson's 1830 Planet Locomotive provides joy rides.

A wheelchair trike with mobility power and style ------>>click here

Contra rotating propellors on an Avro Shackleton maritime patrol aircraft built at Woodford near Manchester, powered by the RR Griffon "thirsty for fuel and oil, noisy and temperamental with high-maintenance needs. In 1961, these engines needed top overhauls every 400 hours and went through a spate of ejecting spark plugs from their cylinder heads"- sounds like my sort of engine then. Interestingly, the Napier Nomad was earmarked for this aeroplane  - a Twelve-cylinder, two-stroke valveless diesel engine compounded with three-stage turbine driving both crankshaft and axial compressor.

The top end of the RR Merlin engine, closely related to the Griffon but with more trouser than mouth designed for performance at higher altitudes   - only 48 valve tappet adjustments required every month.

One of two  prototype English Electric Lightnings - 0-60mph in 2 seconds and 36,000 feet about 178 secs later. Designed by real men using slide rules.

My BMW cylinder head - only 8 tappets to adjust every 6,000 miles.

In 1954 Metropolitan-Vickers began research into nuclear fusion containment under the curious project code name ZETA - Zero Energy Thermonuclear Assembly - it never caught on.

There was some other girly stuff to see at MOSI with textiles and steam engines on display too but we needed to partake in "High Tea" at the Midland Hotel.

Mein Carnival

Team Nikos emerged from the house entrance onto the Carnival parade scene on Rhein Strasse a pig, a cow and a lanky chicken wearing 3 layers of thermal underwear as despite the blue sky and sun, the temperature was a trifle brisk around the gonads.  This year we resumed the full meatball catering service.  We did not make it too far as we met up with a Russian lady whose husband kept giving us vodka.  As the pig and cow cannot drink to excess unlike the chicken the chicken became rapidly pickled.



First things first - beer and meatballs



The camera is playing up again



The traditional Helau salute




Vegetarian alternative



Always good to see mounted police ladies in such fine fettle.



Mrs Nikos adores Carnival  - Helau darling.



Google buttocks protest



The camera has a glitch yet again - must be the fancy "face detection" function playing up



Only 30% proof, this stuff slips down a treat.

Trike with blue hair.

March Musings

So far March has been a bit of a disaster on the IT front but I can report excellent milk foam in Wiesbaden.

This is a demonstration of an important scientific discovery filmed today in Wiesbaden -  a spoon resting on milk foam.

If this appears on your computer screen scream.  It took me 3 days to rectify and this machine was supposed to have been protected against trojans by state of the art security software.  Do not send $79.99 to  Murdoch Spyware Inc (a division of Slater Nazi PLC) when prompted so to do.

This is a copy of the Choragic Monument of Lysicrates in Athens in Tatton Park - I like to take a walk during my lunch hour or two and discovered this quite by chance.

According to Auto Fahrt this is the new mini Mini.  When the new Mini came out some 10 years ago (?) I was keen to test drive it but was mighty disappointed as it handled worse than my VW Passat and had less space inside than a Smart car.  A pretty pointless vehicle and a poor testament to the brilliant concept created by Alec Issigonis.  I suspect that the mini Mini will be similar, all crumple zone and no trouser.

Meanwhile back in the workshop I am fiddling with the valve clearances on a classic air cooled boxer engine to retain my sanity from IT driven hysterical madness.  But life is not so simple -   the rocker shaft end float has to be adjusted first.   The newly acquired motorcycle lift is a boon in cheap Chinese manufacture and convenience.

Carnival Capers Condundrum

In Mrs Nikos' home town there is some sort of heavy mass hysterical get together on Rosenmontag aka "Karneval".  This year that will take place in Wiesbaden (twinned with Tunbridge Wells)  this coming Sunday (?) and celebrations joyously include "....dressing up in fancy costumes, dancing, parades, heavy drinking and general public displays with floats".
Question is do I return to my award winning get on German TV fetish giraffe disguise or shall I be a pink cuddly pig or even a kangaroo?  Last year the  beer barrel proved a large flop and the pig had a nasty fall on sheet ice.  I could try that one provided that the lycra will accommodate 20 layers of thermals to pad me out and I will definitely wear my electric Gerbings motorcycle gloves to keep my extremities warm (current forecast Clear. High: 4 °C. Wind SSW 27 km/h. Windchill: -6 °C). Flippin Heck.

Team Nikos following the abortive interview on a German TV channel (Libary photo courtesy of KinkyFernsehen Auspufen GMBH.)

Melina's Smile

The theme is a solitary actress in the big city.  We ended up eating dinner at Scholarcheio and buying a really useful tray. 



The bust of Melinia Mercouri



View of the Temple of Athena from the Acropolis Museum



Orsome cat reenacts the Third Man in Old Athens



I do wish Mrs Nikos would stop pointing out blemishes in my keftedes



A perfect trio of dolma



A really useful Swinging tray

How to Spot the Dick: All you ever wanted to know.

The results of my recent psychometric analysis carried out with scant questionnaire data given to the Illustrious One (no names but Jack you know who you are), reminded me of an early relationship that was carried out and sustained by the illusion and pretense that I periodically produce a wonderful spotted dick. In reality it flopped prophetically every time as I neglected to add some vital ingredient.   The currant Mrs Nikos has never heard of spotted dick (although her Mother imposes dried and out of date Stollen on me).

Spotted dick is a steamed suet pudding containing currants and should be served with custard. Spotted refers to the dried fruit (which resemble spots) and dick may be a contraction or corruption of the Greek expression  φουσκάλες στον κόκκορα. Another explanation offered by wikipedia for the word "dick" is that it comes from the German word for "thick", dicht or dick.

Useful Tool of the week spot:

This useful dolly was purchased for €79 from the nice man at the excellent Polo motorcycle accessory emporium near Wiesbaden.  I can now swivel Mrs Nikos' old heap and shove it right up against the wall of the shed out of harms way.

Picture Quiz spot - answers on a postcard please.

What is the purpose of this appendage on Wilhelm I's back side?

In the next installment I propose to address the difficult problem of dealing with goat tracks in Southern Greece.

Spotted on ebay Egypt going cheap - will this solve my transportation problems or drop me in even more poo?

Yorkshire Caviar

It continues to entertain me that any trip however short on a 15 year old wheezing and popping BMW K75 motorcycle leads to all wonder of discoveries and new experiences (other than near death experiences and freezing nadgers).

 

Why, only last weekend I was attempting a modest 10 mile trip  in pursuit of pie and peas at my second Northern Section BMW Club meeting. These events appear to be gatherings of enthusiasts of both sexes and the range of conversations is wide including free bus passes, camping adventures in Beddgellert in February and the Nurburgring.  The Greeks have a delightful way of describing these folk:

Καρποί με κέλυφος από κάθε είδος των καρπών με κέλυφος δένδρο.


So, what is all this about? 

Discovery 1: My GPS battery ran down within 100 yards of home and that I can catch the device when it falls off the bike at speed. Here is where it used to be. 

Discovery 2: The Manchester Ship canal has a toll bridge that any normal person would avoid by using the M6 Motorway and the wind swept Thelwall Viaduct.  The toll man waved me through with a cheery 2 finger salute as I had failed to find 12p whilst a queue of 30 cars built up behind me.

Discovery 3: The village of Rixton does not actually exist and therefore there are no sign posts pointing towards it.  The reason that the Village Hall is called “Rixton Village Community Hall” escapes me.

Discovery 4:  Pie and mushy peas - mushy peas is known playfully as Yorkshire Caviar.

I was struck the other day by the remarkable resemblance of mushy peas (aka Yorkshire Caviar) and slurry. One tastes disgusting and the other is most probably disgusting. Are they related by any chance? 

Mushy Peas

Slurry